This year I set my intention to take time for me heal and be. If you have read my Blog The Night that Changed Everything you will know that the last couple of years have been challenging, tough and left me exhausted.
I have never been on a retreat or honestly traveled by myself. Deep in my soul, I knew I needed to go. I felt empty inside like I was dead and without any joy. I wasn't me.
I knew I had to do something.
I found a Healing Retreat fairly close to me and it was called Come Alive. The title alone was something I so wanted. To Come Alive. I had given all to my daughter in her healing, I had nothing left for me. I set my intention to regain my strength and little did I know the healing would be so much deeper.
Come Alive is held on Gabriola Island, one of the Gulf Islands of Vancouver Island. When I was accepted for the program it clicked, I didn't feel nervous or any resistance. I knew, my soul knew it was time.
The Day came for me to go to Gabriola, I was nervous excited and not sure what would happen. I would be away for 5 nights, 6 days. I said to my daughter I would be in a dorm with a bunch of other women, and I feel nervous. Her response was the best.
"Mom, this isn't mean girls, its a retreat everyone is coming for wellness."
So I kissed her goodbye, got in my car and drove away. The drive was about 90 mins away. It was a drive up until now that freaked me out, lots of accidents occur on one strip of the highway. One thing my car accident left me with is panic attacks while driving.
But what about the Panic Attacks?
The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. When I arrived at the ferry terminal, I sat in my car and was proud of myself. I drove, I wasn't scared, there wasn't a panic attack. It was this weird sense that I was on a mission and I knew what I needed to do. I came and conquered. At that point, I wondered what else would this week have in-store.
What would this week hold for me?
I think the last time I slept in a dorm was when I was in school and we went away to camp. I think of that girl who was outgoing, did things. Lived life. Where did she go? I was hoping this week would bring her back. I truly missed her
Something happened as I arrived at the Haven, peace instantly hit me. I felt like I have arrived home, any feelings of anxiousness, doubt slipped away. I met my roomies, there were 4 of us sharing a room. They felt like sisters from long ago. No weirdness of meeting someone new. We shared our why's of being there, it was open honest and raw conversations.
We instantly connected.
We instantly connected.
The program was with about 30 people or so, all arriving for different reasons but with one main goal To Come Alive. We have morning, afternoon and evening sessions. Each session was started with a dance party, this was my favorite. I danced, and I didn't care if I looked goofy or uncoordinated. I dance as a little girl, I danced in freedom. I felt pure joy and I drank it up.
I Danced and loved it.
My healing while at The Haven was intense and beautiful and I spent a lot of time crying, which was a good and wonderful release. I felt fully, I wasn't hiding. I learned about intimacy and how beautiful it is to have space held for you. I felt honored, appreciated and valued.
What brought me to my retreat was my feelings of overwhelm from the past couple of years. What healed me is going back to the beginning, what had kept me stuck for so long, why I was playing so small.
So much did happen during those 6 days, my biggest takeaways would be learning how to be open, how to trust and not wanting to settle anymore. I made a new pack to not settle in my life. Unsure what that would look like but open to the process.
I found my way back to me
I didn't realize how much I was settling in my life. How I made things like running out of food a few days before money came in OK. It became the norm. How I was OK with hiding and not being social. A long time ago I made up my mind to protect myself from more hurt, I would be in isolation.
It achieved that, but I was also very alone. I was bored and didn't do much. I very much needed to be a part of a community, have a circle of friends around me. I needed to open up and trust. It is not so scary out there.
I needed to believe if I changed then the people I would attract around me would change and being constantly hurt would be a thing that would also not be the norm in my life.
Why do you need to go on a Healing Retreat?
Who needs to go on a Retreat?
I believe if you are reading this, something spurred you to read. If you are feeling like I was lost, overwhelmed and exhausted. If in your life you have gone through some past trauma, change and stress. I think no matter where you are in life you can benefit.
Where did I go, check out The Haven? I can't say enough about The Haven and Come Alive. Seriously go check them out, they also can help out financially if needed. Bonus Tell them Anna sent you and you will save $250 and full disclosure I will also receive a $250 credit for my next program.
There are quite a few I am eyeing for my next one.
I invite you to go to a retreat this year, share this with a friend. And please let me know about your healing.
I would love to hear from you.
P.S Did you enjoy this blog? Please be sure to check out some others.
How to make changes in your life.
Anna is a single mama, living her best life with her daughter and her 3 rescue cats in Western Canada
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