Change it can scare the shit out of us, we can run from it, avoid it, stay stuck, do everything in our power to avoid it. Why? Why do we do that? What is so wrong with change. Join me as I dive into change because after all, we all do go through it whether we like it or not.
If we haven’t met before welcome My name is Anna and I have lived through a lifetime of change. Sometimes out of need, sometimes our of desperation and other times it was a natural process. I admit change can be scary, we don’t know what it feels like or what to do with it, or even how to begin. I have been sober now going on my 8th year, and am continually changing and learning to embrace who I have always meant to be.
First, let's talk about what is change?
Change- to make radically different: TRANSFORM
I get asked often by my coaching clients, “well how do you know when you need to change.” Well, if you are reading this or asking the question I would wager that you are being led to change something in your life. You can also feel exhausted, overwhelmed, angry, things that at once time brought you joy do nothing for you. And if we sit for a moment deep down we know its time.
OK, so we need to change, Now What?
Once you know its time to change you first need to accept it, embrace it and give in to it. Don’t listen to the voice in your head telling you not too. Our body likes comfort. I highly suggest getting some books on change, chatting with a friend, getting an accountable partner.
Get clear on what you want to change, and why. Dig deep into the why and what would happen if you don’t change? Sit with that, do you get tears? If not see if you can dig deeper, it's important to add feeling to your why. When things get tough it's your why that will get keep you going.
Now you have a Mission — To Change
Somehow we have thought that once we start on a mission to change it will be all rainbows and unicorns. We will be all Magical. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Think of it like this. Say you just started a plan to run a marathon, the first day you go for a run, granted you can get off the couch you will be very sore. The next time you run sore. Until eventually you can run and look forward to it.
Change is kinda like that, it truly sucks in the middle of it. Its painful, lost memories pop up.
I would suggest share what you want to change, eat better, take a course, create community. By sharing it we make it real. It is no longer a thought its out there in the universe. See if you can find an accountability partner someone to check in on your goals and to help you not to give up on yourself.
How to start to bring Change.
Always keep going no matter what.
You are exhausted, your skin is itchy. You are filled with anger, you want to sit and eat chips and ice cream for days at an end. All of this is natural. I remember when I first got sober and was working the 12 steps, OMG I wanted to quit, I was so angry, I had nightmares, my skill crawled. I was quite frankly a mess. I wondered why am I doing this. Then I remembered why I didn’t want to live like I was living. I knew I deserved better, my daughters deserved better.
You may go through some or all of what I described sometimes all in a matter of a few minutes. The key is not to judge it or quit. Take breaks, naps, binge on NetFlix but keep going.
No matter keep going, reach out to someone and remember your goals. Share with someone. You will be surprised and also feel blessed by hearing “oh my me too.” During times of change, we can feel so alone like an alien living in someone else’s body. If we are used to keeping things to ourselves, this can also be something we can change. Share your story, find your voice.
Something I learned on my journey and I have it hung where I can always see it
The world needs who you were made to be.
I encourage you to set some goals, journal and reach out if you need help
Be sure to come hang out with me on Facebook
Like what you read? Here is my first Blog feature with Elephant Journal
I would love to hear from you.
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