I am going to chat about pursuing fulfillment instead of happiness. Happiness is a feeling and can come and go, while fulfillment is a way of being a state if you will. Let me start by saying fulfillment is not another word for happiness. We can be happy and unhappy at times, but still, be fulfilled. We can be angry, sad, and still be fulfilled. I think in our push for instant gratification we become tired trying to pursue happiness, we do things that make us happy. We become not so patient we want, what we want now. So we buy things to make us happy, eat things, drink do drugs, meet someone and date them because they will do. We are not into waiting and jump at the first thing that comes our way. We are happy at the moment but wake up the next day wanting to cure that happiness fix.
What will make us happy today?
Trust me I know, this was my life for so long. I drank, ate, dated the wrong people said things, didn`t say things all because at the moment it made me happy. I think sometimes this is how we end up feeling sad, overwhelmed and just blah and exhausted. We tiredly pursue being happy going from one thing to another, our brain is constantly in overload trying to get our next great fix. It’s exhausting. We can also put our happiness in our titles, and when those change we lose our happiness. We can collect lots of titles, from mum to daughter, to our work position to a friend. We commit so strongly to our work, when that shifts we feel lost, our happiness is gone. I know this personally when I have lost jobs, my identity was lost, I did not know how to become happy. I had all my happiness relying on my job, my friends my finances take that away and I didn`t know who I was or what to do.
I remember a couple of times in my life once when I finished a job that I was at for 4 years. I was in transition for a bit and was really lost. My work friends where just work friends and we ceased to hang out anymore. I lost my identity, I was confused and torn. Another pretty big part of my life was when my daughter became older and independent. Which we all want as a parent, but I no longer was the Play Group Mom, we no longer gathered at the playground. I felt unfulfilled.
This is mostly because I had all of my eggs in one basket if you may. My happiness was all in my job, my friends were from work, the outings were work parties. Take work out of the picture and well I had nothing left. Same with when my daughter grew up. I had to spend quite a bit of time figuring out who I was? What did I like, what was my passion.
Do you find yourself lost? Exhausted? Lost? Blah? Lifeless?
Maybe a search for fulfillment is the route rather than the search for fulfillment.
I have painted a nice picture of happiness :). But really what is the difference. Happiness comes from what we do, work, being a parent, eating, drinking, while fulfillment is why we do it, who we are. Happiness is short term, pleasure-based, while fulfillment is long term, giving to others, building our character. Mother Teresa, I will wage on saying she had a very fulfilled life.
How do we have a fulfilled life?
If you have any questions or comments let me know. I would love to help. firstname.lastname@example.org
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